Walking down the streets in 5 points south, I ran across a man
Coming toward me, looking as if he hadn’t showered in days
Locks uncared for, smelling like… rotten… decaying…. Something
I knew he was coming this way.. So I thought about running away
Ducking into a store or something, but something told me to hear what he had to say

“Hey Miss!” he said, and scratched his neck
“Hi“. I said, somewhat timidly
“Could you spare some change for me today? They don’t want me to live,
I want to live…. They can’t stop me, They won’t stop me…”

At this point, I’m like, this dude is crazy, maybe I should run away.
But again this little voice was there, telling me to stay.
“What are you talking about sir? I mean.. what do you mean -
Who doesn’t want you to live? Is someone after you…?”

“Yea someone is after me, it’s them the government, society,
The people, they’re after me, they’re after us, they’re after everybody”

“Sit down, right here and I’ll tell you how it is…”

Do I go? Or do I stay? Curiosity always kills me, and I don’t
Really have anywhere to go anyway…. So I eased onto the bench
And he sat next to me. I could see 18 month old wax protruding from
His ears. He was hugging himself and had an expression on his face
That was hard to discern. I couldn’t tell if he was scowling …or
Laughing.

Suddenly his demeanor changes. He sits up straight, wipes the crust
From his eyes and the edges of his mouth and attempts to straighten his jacket.
He begins.

“I’ve always had goals. High and lofty goals. Simple Goals. Dreams and Hopes.
I truly thought that in the land of the free, the home of the brave, that anyone
Could have anything they wanted. Just work hard at it and you will be living the
American dream, in no time flat.

So I did, I worked my ass off… for 45 years I worked and worked for my goals.
When I was younger, my goals were high and in my naivety. I knew anything was possible.
So whatever life, fate…. The government or the “Man” threw at me, I worked through it and believed.
Years went by. Opportunities passed. My ambition dropped a bit. I figured I could be
Happy living a simple life. An average American dream. No more Dr. and lawyer shit…
No more trying to save the world…. I just want to get by.

I tried and I tried and I tried. I didn’t understand why this was so HARD. I knew that I didn’t
Have the same opportunities as other people have but I didn’t know that it would set me this far back.
I just thought that if I tried hard enough, If I worked harder, the fruits of my labor would come.
There is just this unseen FORCE blocking my way.”

I sat there amazed. He had stopped hugging himself and while he spoke to me passion
Blazed in his eyes. He looked like a fallen god. I felt as if I should reverence him because
He knew. He had the wisdom of a thousand wise men and I felt so ashamed for the way I
Had regarded this elder.

He continued.
“One day, I figured it out. I knew what I had been doing wrong. I wasn’t going after my dream
Full force. I realized I knew all along how I could live my dream. It’s simple. Smoke crack.

Every time I take a hit I’m in ecstasy because I live in a world that I create. I fell in love with
That world. I roam these streets and subject myself to these conditions of humility to live the
Way I want to live. I left my children for this. I won’t go back, I don’t want to go back because
In my world I don’t have kids. That was not something that I asked for. That was something forced
On me by something unseen.

Lady. Give me some change so that I can live my life.”


I stood up. Mind racing, thoughts chasing each other. No. This isn’t right. I could kick myself
For listening to a crack head in the first place. But I couldn’t write him off because I knew he had
A point.

Then suddenly it dawned on me.

“Sir…this is my change to you.”

Sitting down, I put my hand on his shoulder:

“Don’t be a victim.”

He looked at me, eyes wide, mouth gaping. Emotions flew through his countenance.
Beginning with rage and ending in:

“Thank you. Could you give me a lift to Jimmy Hale’s?